Privacy is not for the faithful

It's been a while since I posted something, which is bad social media etiquette. My only excuse is I write about a half dozen blogs as it is and something has to fall through the cracks sometimes. But this post has actually been percolating for about 3 months in my head and has finally risen to the surface.

I make my living consulting to companies and organizations about communications strategies and techniques so naturally I spend a lot of time talking to people about social media, what it is, why it is important and how to do it right. And my specific market are all those who still aren't sure if social media is a fad. It's a tough road but I never did take the easy path.

In every encounter I get a criticism from the potential client that social media destroys privacy and personal identity. This is usually accompanied with a concern about security. I have answers for all kinds of people, but lately I've been getting requests to help people in the ministry, both lay and clergy. It's created an interesting discussion.

The concept of privacy and the ability to personally define your individuality is a very "American" concept, but it doesn't have any basis of legitimacy in the Judeo-Christian ethic. I have been able to find no evidence in the Bible supporting the concept of individuality and privacy. In fact, I find the very opposite.

Take, for example, Luke 9:24 where Jesus says, "Whoever would save his life, will lose it..." The whole reason for a Christian to participate in social media is to exercise the great commission. you can reach more people in a shorter time through blogs, social networks like Facebook and even just instant messaging (yes that's social media, too) then you can going one to one in your neighborhood. In fact, social media can make you a more effective and acceptable Christian even in your own neighborhood.

But you cannot be an effective Christian and still be a private person.

Besides, privacy is illusory. The effort we put into pursuing ways to keep to our selves is pretty much wasted with the availability of your information on the internet now.

We need to stop worrying about what we cannot have and start embracing reality.

Finding faith in trying times

A lot of people are struggling today for all kinds of reasons. I'm one of them. It's tough out here. What keeps me going with a relatively positive attitude is my faith ... and what I put my faith in.

This issue of faith has come up in dealing with all kinds of people that are just freaking out because what they put their faith in has horribly let them down. Financially, people who put their faith in the equity of their property, investment portfolios and venture capital are high and dry. People who put their faith in the government to bail them out or protect their rights are sorely disappointed. People who put their faith in relationships are quietly resentful because those friends, family and partners are just as deep in the hole as they are.

Relatively intelligent people are becoming difficult to deal with because the object of their faith. They are unreasonable in their requests and expectations of others. They are angry almost all the time. They can't consider options or alternative directions. What's more, they don't want to change their lifestyles because it's the only source of consistency in their lives. That intransigence only increases the anxiety as the try to hold on to whatever is left.

So how does one cope? Let's really piss you off with an adage: When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.

My wife and I have been discussing the issue of faith as we deal with our own personal disasters. In short, business sucks. Money is not just tight it's non existent. We have no reserves and used all retirement funds up in the past three years just to stay current. We have no health insurance, the cars need repair, we're borrowing a few bucks from friends and family and ... oh yeah... the water heater started leaking today.

And yet, in all the stress, the hurt and the anger, we know we are going to be OK. We don't know how it's going to happen, we don't know when it is going to happen, but something good is coming. How do we know? Because we've been through this before, maybe not as badly, but nonetheless we remember bad times and remember how what we put our faith in always comes through.

What is it that can give that kind of faith in? Well, you need to figure that out for yourself but I can give you some hints.

First, don't look for it in yourself and your own abilities. You will always, eventually, let yourself down. Your strength needs supplementation from some other source. Second, that source is not going to be in any other person or institution because all of those things are run by people with the same weaknesses you have.

What you have to look for is something outside of this earthly paradigm, and not something that requires you to qualify for support by your own efforts. That source has to be unequivocal.

Now you might be wondering what this has to do with lemonade. We all know the analogy. Lemons are sour. Sometimes a little bitter. That sounds like a lot of our life experience right now. You have to add sugar to counteract the bitterness. That's the faith you bring to the situation. You can make sugar from various sources and that's the decisions you make. But water is readily available and it is that medium, provided in large quantities compared the lemons and sugar, that makes the outcome acceptable. We don't control that source of water, but whatever happens, it's best to make sure the water is unadulterated, the real stuff.

I have to keep telling myself this. Whenever I try to find a focus for my faith that is anything but that unadulterated, unequivocal, readily available source of hope, I get really anxious and make bad decisions. So I'm trying to stick with a very simple recipe for life lemonade. I highly recommend it.

Picking up the pieces and putting something together

The California Supreme Court today upheld the constitutionality of Proposition 8 (called by some to be the Defense of Marriage Amendent, and other the Anti-Gay Marriage act).  The rhetoric on both sides is amping up, but I would like to submit a third option.

Let's drop the whole issue of marriage and start considering the concept of legal civil unions.

As we've seen, the faith community is pretty adamant about the theological concept of marriage and as long as the gay community continues to fight to apply that term to its unions, they will receive significant opposition to attaining equal rights in their unions.  In many countries around the world, most specifically in Europe, the government recognizes "civil unions" on the same level as traditional marriage.  In doing so, those countries have overcome any opposition from the faith community.  They may not like it, but they are willing to accept it.

Likewise, in California, polls have shown that the clear majority of voters would accept equal treatment between marriage and civil unions as long as the term remain separate.

Now we can start picking nits with a "separate but equal" argument but we have to ask, are we trying to get equal treatment under the law or legally imposed approval of a lifestyle.  If you are going for the former,  you have an easy path in front of you.  If you want the latter, get ready to divide our communities even more.

People of faith who were on the Pro Prop 8 side need to think about this as well.  You need to ask yourselves if you want to maintain the integrity of your theological terms, or do you want to impose a theocratic position on people who have not freely chosen your faith.

To me, it's a no brainer.  Let's start working this out.

Self-inflicted wounds on the other side of the coin

Today we have report of a documentary outing Republican politicians as gay.  This is a great example of how shooting oneself in the foot is not limited to Christians and religious times.

The story says that there are conservative governors and legislators who live a secret gay lifestyle while opposing legislation proposed by the gay lobby (gay marriage being the primary topic).  The logic goes that if they are revealed as gay, then they have to change their position.

Why?

I know many gay people and for the most part, really enjoy their company.  Most support the gay agenda and they know that, for the most part, I don't.  We still enjoy our friendship.  I know, however, people in the gay community who do NOT agree with the entire agenda and gay marriage happens to be one of the things they don't agree with.  They do not speak up in their community because they are afraid of reprisals.  After all it's one thing for a conservative, straight evangelical like me to politely disagree with them, but not one of their own.

But what happens if one of these conservative politicians accepts the spotlight thrust on his lifestyle.... but does NOT change his position on the gay agenda.  That would have the affect of encouraging other members of the community to come forward.  What, then, is left of the monolithic image of the gay lobby?

Pride goes before a fall.  We ALL need to remember that.

Sin, pride and what really matters.

As I said, I've been reading and studying the Book of Job. Last week I came across this passage in chapter 35.

6 If you sin, how does that affect (God)?
If your sins are many, what does that do to him?
7 If you are righteous, what do you give to him,
or what does he receive from your hand?
8 Your wickedness affects only a man like yourself,
and your righteousness only the sons of men.

That's kind of weird, don't you think? So many Christians are concerned over offending God with their personal and national actions, yet in this series of sentences it states that God is not really concerned about out sins. Or our righteousness

Pride is the core of all sin. I'm not alone in that observation. When you think you know better than your creator, you have an issue with pride. Most people do the wrong thing when they believe they are too smart to get caught or because they really don;t believe that what they are going to do is wrong, even when everyone else says it is. But even if you are doing the right thing, you can still be dealing with pride.

In the church, there is a real pride issue in the belief that it is possible to thwart the plan of God in the world through our actions. Many in the church justify that position by calling certain actions as "compromising the Gospel." In other words, you do something that goes counter to the culture of your church (e.g. going to see a particular movie or reading a certain book) and you will be told you are free to do that, but if others see you do it, you could cause them to stumble and "compromise the gospel."

Number one, that is a very weird definition of "gospel." Gospel means "good news" and that news is that Jesus Christ died for everyone's sin since the beginning of time, for now and into the future. It means that there is nothing we can do to make us any closer or send us farther away from God. Everything we have done wrong has been taken care of.

Second, if that is true, there is nothing we can do to make God love us even more.

What we do affects only us and those we connect with. That makes all our actions very personal in nature.

You get what you are obsessed with

I've been spending several week studying Job, because when life sucks (as it does for most of us) it helps to get perspective from a guy whose suckitude quotient is higher than most people on earth will ever experience.

For those not familiar with Job, it's the book just before Psalms in the Old Testament and tells the story of a wealthy but really great guy (feeds the poor, helps sick people does everything right) who gets attacked for no good reason, his family killed his wealth taken and his body start falling apart, all at the same time.  The he is surrounded by a bunch of friends who tell him he must have some "secret sin" in his life and God is out to get him for good reason.  Even his wife tells him to just give up and die.  I recommend reading it, because it at least has a happy ending.

But what I wanted to talk about is something from the last third of the book, where one of the friends -- the youngest who goes by the name of Elihu -- starts laying down some good advice.  As I was reading it this week, it hit me right between the eyes because it explains a lot of what is going on in the church.  The passage is in Chapter 36, starting in verse 16.  Elihu says:

¹⁶ “God is leading you away from danger, Job,
      to a place free from distress.
      He is setting your table with the best food.
 ¹⁷ But you are obsessed with whether the godless will be judged.
      Don’t worry, judgment and justice will be upheld.

That's a great description of where the church is today.  The opportunity for significant advances are right there, but rather than concentrate on reaching people for Christ, they are screaming about injustice and unrighteousness.  The result is a world who no longer believes the church represents God.

There's the real problem in religious life right now.  I know a lot of atheists and agnostics.  In my discussions with them it becomes clear, early on, that the issue is not that they don't believe in God, or that they don't really know if God exists.  What they say is that they don't believe in the God, ore even the Jesus, that the church demonstrates today.  I can't say I blame them.  I don't even believe in the God that is demonstrated by the church today.  I know a completely different God; one that is concerned with the cause of "sin" rather than the sin itself.

And that's a completely different discussion.

Like comedy, grace is hard

As I watch and participate in what goes on in life, I realize why so many people prefer to live in judgement than walk in grace.  Judgement can be quick and painless.  Grace requires a systemic view of life.  Trying to decide what's evil or good under grace causes migraines and aneurisms if it is at all possible.  Judgement, on the other hand, is is clear cut... even if you are wrong.  Hey, at least you took a position, right?

While a judgmental lifestyle is not limited to the religious crowd (just talk to someone from Greenpeace, PETA or anyone in either major political party) it is easier for a religious person to be judgmental.  If you see or hear of something that offends you you can rationalize that the offensive thing is "an affront to God" and therefore be justified in your position.  Without a "Higher Authority" justification, all you have is the position that whoever disagrees with you is just stupid.  Telling someone they are going to hell for their position is not quite as offensive as telling them they are stupid.  The latter will get you punched in the nose.  The former just gets you laughed at.

From a Christian perspective, however, (as opposed to a religious perspective) a judgmental lifestyle is counterproductive.  Christians have been given the responsibility of "preaching the Good News" to all the world, the news being that God has already forgiven them for everything they have ever done or ever will do that can be considered a sin ... by anyone ... including God.  But putting conditions on what constitutes "Christian behavior" has been part of the church condition since, oh, say the establishment of the church in Galatia in the first century.

Today, we have the same problem as then.  We like to say that we need to avoid involvement in certain practices if we want to be "really Christian," and we have all kinds of different flavors of that attitude, ranging from not wearing makeup for women, to not going to certain movies or reading certain books, all the way to political positions - on both sides of the political fence.  The reasoning for this is that you have to be careful what you put into your mind and body because bad stuff might spill out.  Jesus had a bit of a different position on that:

"It is not what enters into the mouth that defiles the man, but what proceeds out of the mouth, this defiles the man." New American Standard Bible (©1995)

We also tend to take it to the place of who we associate with, saying we shouldn't be around certain people because their lifestyles could pollute us.  Jesus had something to say about that too:

"The Son of Man has come eating and drinking, and you say, 'Look! He's a glutton and a drunk, a friend of tax collectors and sinners!'" International Standard Version (©2008)

So you can see that the judgmental lifestyle, while much easier doesn't really hold much water in an eternal perspective.  Grace, on the other hand, is just a real pain in the ... neck.

I have a friend whom I love dearly who I led to Christ many years ago.  She had somethign of a wild lifestyle but was very unhappy.  I remember sitting with her late at night aside a hotel pool during the convention we met at and walking her through a prayer of forgiveness.  It was beautiful.  

She got pregnant shortly after that and had an abortion.  I stayed with her and told her she had already been forgiven.  Happened again a few years later.  I stayed with her and told her she had already been forgiven.  She moved away, got a new boyfriend and got pregnant again.  This time she kept it, but was a single mother for a long time.  I kept telling her about Gods forgiveness.  She finally found a good man.  Got married.  Has a great marriage.  Just had another baby.

Here's the thing.  If I had been normal through this relationship, she would never have felt she could come to me about anything.  I'm not a fan of abortion, or sex outside of marriage, but that's my opinion and my life.  How God deals with me is completely different from how he deals with anyone else.  I can only be concerned with God's grace for me and when I am in a relationship, I can only be concerned with how I exhibit that grace.  That means I am in it for the long, very messy haul.

Sometimes I wish I didn't really get the whole grace thing.  I don't really.  But I get enough that I can't be comfortable with the judgement thing.  My life would be a lot easier.  I would get to hang with people who have really simple, seemingly black-and-white lifestyles.  But I have to admit, hanging with "tax collectors and sinners" is a whole lot more entertaining.