Grace: The lazy man's approach to life.

I'm always doing something, thinking up schemes, remembering to do something while I'm in the middle of watching TV.  That gives some people the impression that I am a very hard worker.  But I'm really not.  I'm fairly lazy.  Most of the work I do is all about finding easier ways of doing something.

That's why I like grace over law.  Grace is easy and simple.  Law is exhausting.

Now some might like to say that forgiving and accepting others is incredibly hard compared with living life according to a certain structure.  Others might say grace is fine, but "you can compromise your beliefs or life just falls apart."  I disagree on both counts.  Grace is easy... it's just not comfortable when your foundational ethic is on law.

Here's what I mean:

A life with a foundation of law means you have to vet everyone and everything that comes into your life (vet means "make a careful and critical examination") to make sure that you stay on the straight and narrow, and that everyone else believes you do to.  That takes an incredible amount of effort.  If you make a mistake in the vetting process you run the risk of "appearing" sinful, so you have to make sure (and you actually never will be).  That requires you to hold everyone and everything at arm's length for a very long time.  Friendships never solidify, knowledge is stilted and walls begin to form around the society that happens to pass muster.

On the other end of the scale is a life based on grace.  You can accept everyone rather than except everyone.  New experiences can be judged for their value, not because they "might" be acceptable.  You lack walls that keep you from reaching out, or for others to reach in.  The only rules that apply are those you set for yourself.  You are answerable only to you, God and people God sends to you for accountability (and you'll be able to recognize them because you don't have to run them through the law filter.)

I'll give you an example.  Years ago, shortly before my conversion, I got into the marijuana clique.  I started consuming marijuana in various forms, but mostly in social settings.  But I didn't participate because I was coerced into it.  I wasn't trying to fit in nor was I trying to be a rebel.  I was curious.  I enjoyed the society of my friends and we did silly things under the influence.  One day, though, I went out to the beach, alone, just to think and lit up.  The same thing happened that always happened:  I started dry coughing and feeling light headed.  About 2 minutes in I started to think, "This is really stupid.  Why am I doing this?"

The next day I was with a very good friend that I respected and that knew I used the drug and I recounted my experience on the beach.  She breathed a sigh of relief and said "I've really wanted you to quit for some time."

She never told me that before.  Never said a word.  She was walking on a foundation of grace with me.  I thought about my beach experience and what my good friend had just said to me.  I decided at that moment that the drug was just not what best for me.  And I got rid of my stash.

Think about what exists today in the illicit drug society.  We have laws up the wazoo.  We have a legal multibillion dollar industry that works to get people off drugs, an illegal multibillion dollar industry to get people hooked on them; a multibillion dollar entertainment industry that both glorifies and demonizes the practice and a multibillion dollar government infrastructure to deal with it all.  Our society polarized on either side of the issue.  Drug users don't feel welcome in polite society, much less the church, and polite society wants the users put away in prisons and medical facilities so we don't have to look at them.

It's all so complicated and takes so much effort.

But I had a friend that decided to deal with me in grace and transparency.  She didn't shut me out of her life because of my practices.  She didn't look at me as a sinner.  She just looked at me as a friend.  And that influence was enough to nudge me away from a potentially darker lifestyle.

It was so simple.  Imagine how uncomfortable it was for my friend to not complicate the process for both of us.  But it wasn't hard.  It was simple.
Now I'm sure I'm going to get a lot of comments from this about my stand on drugs so let's make this very clear.  I'm not talking about drugs, dammit.  I'm talking about living in grace and how it simplifies your life and the lives of others.  The grace lifestyle transcends topics.

I have people whose opinions I value that are diametrically opposed to my political, moral, economic, sexual environmental, religious, literary, musical and artistic positions.  That we disagree is not a reason to avoid relationship.  It is the reason to pursue it.

The Bible puts it in many different ways.  "Iron sharpens iron," is the most common.  Finding people with hard positions that oppose our own is the best way of finding if our positions are correct.  Grace allows me to hear what other say and consider it.  Some believe, however, that opening yourself up to those contrary positions can cause you to stumble.

But the Bible also records the promise from God, over and over, that He will write His laws and words in our hearts... not the other way around... and his laws are always based on grace, not judgement or separation.  I have found that to be the reality in my life, which is good because I'm so very lazy.

How to really "Put Christ Back in Christmas"

"Really!?  You go away for months, not writing a single word here and you come back with that crap?  WTH?"

Yeah, I know it's a really trite statement for a headline, and every time I hear it I throw up a little in my mouth. But I was hoping it would piss you off just enough to read the rest.  Really want you in an agitated frame of mind for this.

I was out grocery shopping and finishing up at the checkout at one store.  As the bagger finished up he gave me a big grin and said "Happy Holidays!"

The human brain is amazing in how fast it can process thought, because this whole post came to me in the split second before I responded to his exclamation, which I will be my conclusion.

Every year around this time we enter into the great campaign to "put Christ back into Christmas" by making a distinct effort to say "Merry Christmas" to all, especially when others use the less specific "Happy Holidays."  We have conversations about it.  We hear sermons on it.  We even read blog posts on it.  It is a polarizing moment every Christmas season pitting dedicated and even nominal Christians on one side and non-believers on the other.  Well, that's not quite right. On the other side is a small contingent of angry anti-religionists.  In between is the larger component of people who aren't sure what the problem is.  Those are the people this post is about.

In the Christian world, we have this thing called "The Great Commission."  In Matthew 28:19, Jesus tells his disciples to go into all the world spread the word.  The various translations say it differently, from teach to preach to "make disciples.  But the literal translation is "be a model of."  It's not about what you say, or yell or tell, it's about how you live.  So in the context of this post, I'm saying the best way to put Christ back in Christmas is to be like Christ.

So let's go back to the checkout at the store where the bagger wished me a happy holiday.  He wasn't making a theological statement.  I have no idea if he is or isn't a believer.  He may have very well been following a corporate policy.  But his attitude in delivering the non-committal benediction was heartfelt and enthusiastic.  All the above flashed through my mind at that moment and I put aside any sectarian discussion, looked him square in the eye, gave him my biggest smile and said "Thank you! Same to you and yours."

At that moment, we had reached an accord.  We wished each other well, warming in the glow of the beginning of a wondrous season and opening the possibilities of an incarnation of truth for both of us.  I had accepted what he offered without judgement or offense, just as Jesus had accepted the world without condition.  For a brief, shining moment, I felt joy and refused to let a theological position rob me and my new friend of that joy.

So in this season, put Christ back into Christmas by making a special effort to avoid judgement and confrontation for the sake of confrontation.  Be Christ for all this Christmas.

Like comedy, grace is hard

As I watch and participate in what goes on in life, I realize why so many people prefer to live in judgement than walk in grace.  Judgement can be quick and painless.  Grace requires a systemic view of life.  Trying to decide what's evil or good under grace causes migraines and aneurisms if it is at all possible.  Judgement, on the other hand, is is clear cut... even if you are wrong.  Hey, at least you took a position, right?

While a judgmental lifestyle is not limited to the religious crowd (just talk to someone from Greenpeace, PETA or anyone in either major political party) it is easier for a religious person to be judgmental.  If you see or hear of something that offends you you can rationalize that the offensive thing is "an affront to God" and therefore be justified in your position.  Without a "Higher Authority" justification, all you have is the position that whoever disagrees with you is just stupid.  Telling someone they are going to hell for their position is not quite as offensive as telling them they are stupid.  The latter will get you punched in the nose.  The former just gets you laughed at.

From a Christian perspective, however, (as opposed to a religious perspective) a judgmental lifestyle is counterproductive.  Christians have been given the responsibility of "preaching the Good News" to all the world, the news being that God has already forgiven them for everything they have ever done or ever will do that can be considered a sin ... by anyone ... including God.  But putting conditions on what constitutes "Christian behavior" has been part of the church condition since, oh, say the establishment of the church in Galatia in the first century.

Today, we have the same problem as then.  We like to say that we need to avoid involvement in certain practices if we want to be "really Christian," and we have all kinds of different flavors of that attitude, ranging from not wearing makeup for women, to not going to certain movies or reading certain books, all the way to political positions - on both sides of the political fence.  The reasoning for this is that you have to be careful what you put into your mind and body because bad stuff might spill out.  Jesus had a bit of a different position on that:

"It is not what enters into the mouth that defiles the man, but what proceeds out of the mouth, this defiles the man." New American Standard Bible (©1995)

We also tend to take it to the place of who we associate with, saying we shouldn't be around certain people because their lifestyles could pollute us.  Jesus had something to say about that too:

"The Son of Man has come eating and drinking, and you say, 'Look! He's a glutton and a drunk, a friend of tax collectors and sinners!'" International Standard Version (©2008)

So you can see that the judgmental lifestyle, while much easier doesn't really hold much water in an eternal perspective.  Grace, on the other hand, is just a real pain in the ... neck.

I have a friend whom I love dearly who I led to Christ many years ago.  She had somethign of a wild lifestyle but was very unhappy.  I remember sitting with her late at night aside a hotel pool during the convention we met at and walking her through a prayer of forgiveness.  It was beautiful.  

She got pregnant shortly after that and had an abortion.  I stayed with her and told her she had already been forgiven.  Happened again a few years later.  I stayed with her and told her she had already been forgiven.  She moved away, got a new boyfriend and got pregnant again.  This time she kept it, but was a single mother for a long time.  I kept telling her about Gods forgiveness.  She finally found a good man.  Got married.  Has a great marriage.  Just had another baby.

Here's the thing.  If I had been normal through this relationship, she would never have felt she could come to me about anything.  I'm not a fan of abortion, or sex outside of marriage, but that's my opinion and my life.  How God deals with me is completely different from how he deals with anyone else.  I can only be concerned with God's grace for me and when I am in a relationship, I can only be concerned with how I exhibit that grace.  That means I am in it for the long, very messy haul.

Sometimes I wish I didn't really get the whole grace thing.  I don't really.  But I get enough that I can't be comfortable with the judgement thing.  My life would be a lot easier.  I would get to hang with people who have really simple, seemingly black-and-white lifestyles.  But I have to admit, hanging with "tax collectors and sinners" is a whole lot more entertaining.