Time management, priorities, importance and intention

For everything there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven. Ecclesiastes 3:1 I was reading a devotional on time management a few months ago. It was written by a well-regarded theologian so I thought he might have some interesting insight on the issue. I was pretty disappointed. He threw out several well known scriptures and then tried to attach “tips” to them like, praying while you are in the car, which to me is a no brainer. What it all boiled down to was, time is precious so don’t waste it. But it didn’t tell me how to manage time any better. I mentioned my disappointment to my pastor and pointed out that the admonition to not waste time was violated by actually doing that devotional. We had a good laugh about that and he said I should write a devotional on the subject. That brings us to this. In the next few pages I’m not going to give you tips on how to do more things within your waking hours. I’m going to give you biblical examples of how people wasted time and how they used it effectively, so you will know when you have been, are, and may be about to waste time. To begin I want to help you understand three things: the priority, the important, and the intention. All three are tied together, but they are not the same thing. The priority is what get’s done. That doesn’t mean it is important, it just gets done. Because the important may not be our priority at the time, it doesn’t get done. In the process we get frustrated because we don’t think we have time for important things. The reason that happens is we fail to acknowledge what our intention is at the time. When you understand the intention of your action, you understand your priority. And if your priority isn’t really important for that moment, you know your action is going to be wasted time. Intention is the planning process of time management. Say you want to build a shed on a patio, but the patio is covered in junk. You might shift the junk around to make room for your shed, but you’ll be stepping around the junk during the process, constantly shifting junk and taking attention away from your intention: to build a shed. If you clean up and toss the junk away first, you’ll have an easier time building. The intention of building the shed makes cleaning the patio important and a priority to accomplish your intention. Suddenly you see an effective plan and can assign time accordingly. So that defines our terms.

The origin of Christmas

Every year we get the story of how Christians ripped off Saturnalia from Roman pagans to establish December 25 as Jesus' birthday.  Here's what really happened:

Saturnalia in Rome was a full week of carousing and violence between December 17-25.  The courts were closed, and no one could be punished for damaging property or injuring people during this time.  Each Roman community picked a Lord of Misrule who was forced to indulge in food and other physical pleasures throughout the week.  On the last day, December 25^th, this person was murdered as a means of destroying the forces of darkness. Greek writer poet and historian Lucian described the festival as a time of human sacrifice widespread intoxication; going from house to house while singing naked (caroling); rape and other sexual license (office parties); and eating human-shaped cookies (gingerbread men).

By the 4th century Christian leaders had succeeded in converting to Christianity large numbers of pagans by promising them that they could continue to celebrate the Saturnalia as Christians and to appropriate Jesus as the human sacrifice at the end by recognizing his birth on December 25.  That eliminated human sacrifice from the holiday but allowed the carousing to continue.

Because of the pagan origin of the holiday, Christmas was banned by the Puritans and its observance was illegal in Massachusetts between 1659 and 1681.

So, the Christians transformation of the holiday saved lives.  And if you don't like that fact, you're an uptight Puritan.  So there.

Grace: The lazy man's approach to life.

I'm always doing something, thinking up schemes, remembering to do something while I'm in the middle of watching TV.  That gives some people the impression that I am a very hard worker.  But I'm really not.  I'm fairly lazy.  Most of the work I do is all about finding easier ways of doing something.

That's why I like grace over law.  Grace is easy and simple.  Law is exhausting.

Now some might like to say that forgiving and accepting others is incredibly hard compared with living life according to a certain structure.  Others might say grace is fine, but "you can compromise your beliefs or life just falls apart."  I disagree on both counts.  Grace is easy... it's just not comfortable when your foundational ethic is on law.

Here's what I mean:

A life with a foundation of law means you have to vet everyone and everything that comes into your life (vet means "make a careful and critical examination") to make sure that you stay on the straight and narrow, and that everyone else believes you do to.  That takes an incredible amount of effort.  If you make a mistake in the vetting process you run the risk of "appearing" sinful, so you have to make sure (and you actually never will be).  That requires you to hold everyone and everything at arm's length for a very long time.  Friendships never solidify, knowledge is stilted and walls begin to form around the society that happens to pass muster.

On the other end of the scale is a life based on grace.  You can accept everyone rather than except everyone.  New experiences can be judged for their value, not because they "might" be acceptable.  You lack walls that keep you from reaching out, or for others to reach in.  The only rules that apply are those you set for yourself.  You are answerable only to you, God and people God sends to you for accountability (and you'll be able to recognize them because you don't have to run them through the law filter.)

I'll give you an example.  Years ago, shortly before my conversion, I got into the marijuana clique.  I started consuming marijuana in various forms, but mostly in social settings.  But I didn't participate because I was coerced into it.  I wasn't trying to fit in nor was I trying to be a rebel.  I was curious.  I enjoyed the society of my friends and we did silly things under the influence.  One day, though, I went out to the beach, alone, just to think and lit up.  The same thing happened that always happened:  I started dry coughing and feeling light headed.  About 2 minutes in I started to think, "This is really stupid.  Why am I doing this?"

The next day I was with a very good friend that I respected and that knew I used the drug and I recounted my experience on the beach.  She breathed a sigh of relief and said "I've really wanted you to quit for some time."

She never told me that before.  Never said a word.  She was walking on a foundation of grace with me.  I thought about my beach experience and what my good friend had just said to me.  I decided at that moment that the drug was just not what best for me.  And I got rid of my stash.

Think about what exists today in the illicit drug society.  We have laws up the wazoo.  We have a legal multibillion dollar industry that works to get people off drugs, an illegal multibillion dollar industry to get people hooked on them; a multibillion dollar entertainment industry that both glorifies and demonizes the practice and a multibillion dollar government infrastructure to deal with it all.  Our society polarized on either side of the issue.  Drug users don't feel welcome in polite society, much less the church, and polite society wants the users put away in prisons and medical facilities so we don't have to look at them.

It's all so complicated and takes so much effort.

But I had a friend that decided to deal with me in grace and transparency.  She didn't shut me out of her life because of my practices.  She didn't look at me as a sinner.  She just looked at me as a friend.  And that influence was enough to nudge me away from a potentially darker lifestyle.

It was so simple.  Imagine how uncomfortable it was for my friend to not complicate the process for both of us.  But it wasn't hard.  It was simple.
Now I'm sure I'm going to get a lot of comments from this about my stand on drugs so let's make this very clear.  I'm not talking about drugs, dammit.  I'm talking about living in grace and how it simplifies your life and the lives of others.  The grace lifestyle transcends topics.

I have people whose opinions I value that are diametrically opposed to my political, moral, economic, sexual environmental, religious, literary, musical and artistic positions.  That we disagree is not a reason to avoid relationship.  It is the reason to pursue it.

The Bible puts it in many different ways.  "Iron sharpens iron," is the most common.  Finding people with hard positions that oppose our own is the best way of finding if our positions are correct.  Grace allows me to hear what other say and consider it.  Some believe, however, that opening yourself up to those contrary positions can cause you to stumble.

But the Bible also records the promise from God, over and over, that He will write His laws and words in our hearts... not the other way around... and his laws are always based on grace, not judgement or separation.  I have found that to be the reality in my life, which is good because I'm so very lazy.

How to really "Put Christ Back in Christmas"

"Really!?  You go away for months, not writing a single word here and you come back with that crap?  WTH?"

Yeah, I know it's a really trite statement for a headline, and every time I hear it I throw up a little in my mouth. But I was hoping it would piss you off just enough to read the rest.  Really want you in an agitated frame of mind for this.

I was out grocery shopping and finishing up at the checkout at one store.  As the bagger finished up he gave me a big grin and said "Happy Holidays!"

The human brain is amazing in how fast it can process thought, because this whole post came to me in the split second before I responded to his exclamation, which I will be my conclusion.

Every year around this time we enter into the great campaign to "put Christ back into Christmas" by making a distinct effort to say "Merry Christmas" to all, especially when others use the less specific "Happy Holidays."  We have conversations about it.  We hear sermons on it.  We even read blog posts on it.  It is a polarizing moment every Christmas season pitting dedicated and even nominal Christians on one side and non-believers on the other.  Well, that's not quite right. On the other side is a small contingent of angry anti-religionists.  In between is the larger component of people who aren't sure what the problem is.  Those are the people this post is about.

In the Christian world, we have this thing called "The Great Commission."  In Matthew 28:19, Jesus tells his disciples to go into all the world spread the word.  The various translations say it differently, from teach to preach to "make disciples.  But the literal translation is "be a model of."  It's not about what you say, or yell or tell, it's about how you live.  So in the context of this post, I'm saying the best way to put Christ back in Christmas is to be like Christ.

So let's go back to the checkout at the store where the bagger wished me a happy holiday.  He wasn't making a theological statement.  I have no idea if he is or isn't a believer.  He may have very well been following a corporate policy.  But his attitude in delivering the non-committal benediction was heartfelt and enthusiastic.  All the above flashed through my mind at that moment and I put aside any sectarian discussion, looked him square in the eye, gave him my biggest smile and said "Thank you! Same to you and yours."

At that moment, we had reached an accord.  We wished each other well, warming in the glow of the beginning of a wondrous season and opening the possibilities of an incarnation of truth for both of us.  I had accepted what he offered without judgement or offense, just as Jesus had accepted the world without condition.  For a brief, shining moment, I felt joy and refused to let a theological position rob me and my new friend of that joy.

So in this season, put Christ back into Christmas by making a special effort to avoid judgement and confrontation for the sake of confrontation.  Be Christ for all this Christmas.

Chapter 15: A Family, Conclusion

There are stones in everyone's lives that can block their view of God.  

God, however, is in the business of rolling away stones.  

When a loved one dies, the depth and breadth of a family's faith is tested.  

For this family, such an event became much more; 

became yet another story for the telling

...another stone to be rolled away.

We are still in the home of Lazarus, but someone is missing.  

Grief has come to this home, again.  Mary is packing her belongings

Martha--What are you doing?

Mary--What does it look like?  I’m packing.

Martha==Whatever for?

Mary--Now that he’s dead, we can’t stay here.

Martha--Running away isn’t the answer.  We need to wait.

Mary--We have to do something.

Martha--We need to wait.  

Mary--Wait for what?

Martha--I'm not sure.  I just know we need to wait.  We have to be patient, Mary.  Panic won't help.

Mary--I can't believe he's gone.

Martha--I know.  We have to learn to trust God in this.

Mary--I still struggle with that.  Trust doesn’t come very easy for me.  Neither does patience.  I don't see how you do it.  How you've done it for all these years.

Martha--Practice, my love.  Practice.

Mary --How could Jesus allow this to happen.  It didn't have to be this way.

Martha--You don't know that.

Mary What are we going to do without him?

Martha--Just what is expected of us...and maybe a little more.

Mary --It wouldn't have happened if he was here.

Martha--We don't know that, either.  This could be part of the plan.

Mary Plan?--Death isn't a plan?  Death is the end.

Martha--Not with Jesus.  And you, of all people should know that.

Mary --I know Jesus could do anything he wanted.  But, this ...  No, he couldn't do this.  Martha, it's over... and I don't want it to be.

Martha--Mary, it will never be over.  Not as long as we live.  Jesus is life.   We can't forget that, Mary.  He restored you to us ... to yourself... and to each other.  Jesus made us a family again.

Mary--It's just that... I didn't have enough time with him.  Martha, I wasted so much ...

Martha--We both did.  We wasted it in anger and hate and pride.  We robbed ourselves of so much precious time.  But there is still much more to come, Mary, I know it.  I just know it.  For now, though, we wait ... and, perhaps, learn to grieve.

The sisters embrace and Mary begins to sob. 

 The silence screams in rage. 

There is a shout.  Lazarus runs into the house.

Lazarus--Mary!  Martha!  

Mary--Brother! I thought you were in Jerusalem.  Are they chasing you?

Lazarus--(panting) It happened!  He did it!

Martha knows exactly what he is taking about begins to laugh.

 Mary is clueless.  

Lazarus dances a jig.  

The Traveler, enters, unseen by Lazarus and Mary and moves to Martha.  

Martha sees him and falls to her knees.  

He helps her up and they both begin to laugh.  

Mary sees none of this as she watches Lazarus do his absurd dance.

Mary--still unseeing) What happened?  Who did what?

Lazarus--The tomb ...  the stone ... alive ... THERE! (points to the Traveler)

Traveler--(still laughing)  Mary!

Mary-- My Lord?  .....  My Lord!

Chapter 14: A Family - Act Three

In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.

There was a man with two sisters whom he loved beyond measure.  The youngest went off to spend her birthright on a mess of pottage and sold her family's honor in the process.  The older sister stayed behind, taking up what had been ignored for the cause of pleasure; taking on responsibility for the carelessness of others; acting in grace where none was given.  This woman lost youth, vitality and motherhood and rewon honor for her brother and the family name.  But one day, the younger sister returned.  Her brother rejoiced for their family was now whole and the sisters were grateful, but wounded ... both of them.

We have come to the courtyard of Lazarus' home.  The traveler and Lazarus are sitting, talking quietly and Mary is welcoming the tax collectors, "sinners," Pharisees and the teachers of the law who have come to hear him.  Mary’s sister, Martha, is in the kitchen, preparing food, cleaning dishes, planning and talking to herself... because she is the only one who will listen.

Martha--All right, the bread is baked.  I have enough for twenty...

Mary bounces into the kitchen.  A dozen years worth of lines have disappeared from her face.  She dances instead of walks.  Once again, she is young and carefree.  Martha, however, is old before her time, and far too quiet for such a festive occasion.

Mary--Martha, the ben Levis have come, and their cousins will be here in half an hour. The cousins!  Can you believe it?  Oh, here comes someone else.  Be right back!

Martha--All right.  I can bake more bread.  I have wine and fruit enough for 30.  I need cheese.

When you open your doors to the world, occasionally a few nasty bugs will also fly in.  Ichabod enters and goes directly to Lazarus

Ichabod--Did you know this man goes into the homes of sinners and eats with them?  

Mary sees Ichabod and turns to Martha.  She is less than thrilled.

Mary--Oh Joy. Martha, Ichabod is also here. 

Martha -- I'll need some prunes, then.

Mary Martha, do we have enough food?

Martha--I'm not sure we do, Mary.  Maybe you could help me prepare what we have while I go to the market.

Mary--Oh, I'd love to, but I have to greet the guests.  It's so much fun out there.  Really, come out when you can.

Martha leans against a table and does a slow burn.  The traveler is beginning to teach.

Traveler --Suppose one of you has a hundred sheep and loses one lamb.  Won't you leave the ninety-nine in the open country and go after the lost lamb until you find it? 

Martha--Lamb!  I forgot the lamb! (she runs to the fireplace and checks, then breathes a sigh of relief)

Traveler--And when you find it, you joyfully put it on your shoulders and go home.  Then you call your friends and neighbors together and say, `Rejoice with me; I have found my lost sheep."   I tell you that in the same way there will be more rejoicing in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who do not need to repent.   

Martha--I repent.  I repent that I ever agreed to this little party.

Traveler--Or suppose a woman has ten silver coins and loses one.  Won't she light a lamp, sweep the house and search carefully until she finds it?  

Martha--Well, some of us would.

Traveler--...and when she finds it, she calls her friends and neighbors together and says, "Rejoice with me; I have found my lost coin."   In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.

Ten years of frustration can make it difficult to rejoice over anything.  The mere fact that others can rejoice in the face of your frustration is infuriating.  Martha explodes out of the kitchen

Martha--Lord, don't you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!

In all of her life, no one has ever heard an angry word from Martha; never seen a demonstration of frustration.  The festivity comes to an end.  Mary, stunned and fearful, looks up at Martha while reaching out to the traveler, seeking protection.  He stands and takes Martha's hands, addressing her gently.

Traveler--Martha, you can manage many things, but Mary only  one.  She has chosen what is best for her to do right now, and I will not take it away from her.

Martha bows her head in shame and berates herself in silence.

Martha--I understand, Lord.

Martha returns to the kitchen.  Traveler turns back to the guests and sits down.

Traveler --Let me tell you a story.  

Martha continues to work but without the previous intensity of concentration.  She may not be able to ignore her responsibilities as easily as others, but she is determined to get some scraps from the table.  She moves the kitchen table closer to the door and listens to the story.  Mary, as usual, does whatever she can to block out the current unpleasantness and find her joy.  She turns away from the kitchen and looks down to the floor.

Traveler--There was a man who had two sons.   The younger one said to his father, `Father, give me my share of the estate." So the father, with reluctance but in love, did as his son asked.  This young man then took his wealth and set off for a distant country where he squandered his wealth in wild living. 

This sounds very familiar.  Mary looks up at him.

Traveler--After he had spent everything, there was a severe famine in that whole country, and he had nothing to live on and no friends to help him.    So he went and hired himself out to feed pigs. But even that was not enough to live on.  It got to the point where he longed to fill his stomach with the food he fed to the pigs were eating, because no one gave him anything.

The traveler bends over, hands clasped and elbows on knees, addressing Mary specifically.

Traveler--One day this young man came to his senses.  He said, “How many of my father's hired men live better than this!  I will set out and go back to my father and say to him: Father, I have made a horrible mistake and am not worthy to be called your son; please hire me as the lowest of your servants."  So he got up and went to his father. But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him coming and was overwhelmed; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him. 

The traveler pauses to let this image sink in.  He stands and addresses the assemblage.

Traveler--The son said to him, “Father, I have made a mess of my life.  Don't treat me like a son, but look as me only as a servant.”  But the father ignored his words and said to his servants, “Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet.  Bring the fattened calf and kill it.  Let's have a feast and celebrate.  For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.” So they began to celebrate.

Traveler pauses once again.  Two men begin to weep.  Martha stops working and looks at him.  He turns and looks at her.

Traveler--The older son, however, was in the field when all of this was happening. When he had finished working and headed home, he heard music and dancing as he came near the house.  So he called one of the servants and asked him what was going on. “Your brother has come home,” he replied, “and your father has killed the fattened calf because he has him back safe and sound.”  This made the older brother very angry and refused to go in.  

Martha’s anger rises again.  She turns her head away.  Tears fill her eyes and spill down her cheeks.

Traveler--The servants went and told the father about the situation so he went out and pleaded with his angry son.  “Look!” he said.  “I've given all my life to you, did everything you ever asked without question, and I never asked for anything.  Yet you never gave me even a young goat so I could celebrate with my friends.  But when this son of yours who has squandered your property with prostitutes comes home, you kill the fattened calf for him!”

As the traveler speaks he fulfills a driving desire in Martha to be understood.  She cannot help but return his gaze. Mary, also, has a revelation.  She shifts her attention to Martha for the first time.

Traveler--“My son,” the father said, “you are always with me, and everything I have is yours.  But we had to celebrate and be glad, because this brother of yours was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.”

Martha sighs deeply, looks down at the table, wipes her eyes, and gets back to work.  The rest of the party is awestruck by the enormity of the moment.  They all know the history of this family.  They all understand this story.  In the silence, Mary stands and goes into the kitchen and takes Martha by the hand, leading her from the kitchen and to where he is standing.  She motions for her to sit.  Then Mary returns to the kitchen quickly, takes a tray of food, and returns to serve a few guests and finally kneels to serve Martha.  As the sisters consider each other for the first time in many years, Lazarus begins to weep in gratitude

Chapter 13 -- A Family: Act Two

Finally they said, "Who are you? Give us an answer to take back to those who sent us. What do you say about yourself?" 

We're catching up to our friend from Samaria.  She's come a long way, but we need to step back a few years before she ended up where we first met her.  Let me tell you the story.

There was a man with two sisters.  The youngest sister left her home in exchange for what the world offered, and one day found she had lost everything of value.  Into her poverty came a Word and the Word drew her to Himself like no man ever had.  From that time on, where ever the Word was spoken she followed and listened.  In the listening her treasure was restored and the depth of her gratitude overwhelmed her.  Others, however, could see the restoration only with the greatest of difficulty.

We are in a well-appointed dining room in a prominent house in Bethany, a few miles from Jerusalem.  Several men are sitting or standing in a dinner room prior to a meal being served.  A few are talking casually but one is in a heated discussion with the host.

Ichabod - Are you sure you want to have this man here?   Do you know the kind of people this man associates with?

Simon - I have heard a great deal of gossip and innuendo from people who have neither heard nor seen him first hand.  If this is another charlatan "Messiah,"  I will be able to discern it quickly, God willing.

Ichabod - You are naive.  And you will bring a curse on this house.

Simon - I bring nothing of the kind.  My invitation to him is not an endorsement of his work, but this man has influence and teaches with authority.  As members of the Sanhedrin we have a responsibility to hear him out before passing judgement on his teaching.

Ichabod throws his hands up in frustration

Simon - Listen, Ichabod! This man is a guest in my house and will be shown respect.  You will show that respect if you wish to enjoy the same status.

Ichabod -I beg your forgiveness, my friend.

Simon -Very well, then.

A servant rushes in, out of breath.

Servant - Master, he is here!  And you should see the crowd that follows him.  I hardly recognize anyone.  They must be from out of town and ...

Simon -Yes, yes.  Bring him in and allow him to bring his friends.  Wait!  Allow him three friends.  We already have a crowd in here as it is.

The traveler, enters the room with three of his companions.  

He stands patiently near the table.

Simon -Ah, Rabbi!  Now we can eat. Come sit here next to me.  Your friends may sit with you.  

This is always an awkward time in high society.  

The lower classes will generally grab the first seat they see, 

eager to get at the food.  

In this house, however, the guests begin jockeying 

for position on the other side of Simon.  

The traveler hesitates as though waiting for something. 

He finally shrugs and sits at Simon's right hand.  

Simon looks exasperated.

Simon - Please, everyone sit.

Simon is a man of great influence.  

Everyone drops to the floor as though a rug had been pulled out from under them.  Servants begin bringing out the trays of food.  

Ichabod approaches the traveler.

Ichabod - Rabbi, your teaching has the entire country enthralled, but I was wondering about this teaching on the Sabbath.  Am I correct that you believe the Sabbath was created FOR man, not ...

Ichabod’s interrogation is cut short.  

There is some commotion just outside the door.  

Women are screaming, Servants are calling for aid.  

One voice is recognizable, however.  It is our Samaritan friend.

Mary -Leave me alone!  I have to see him.  He has to know what he's done for me!  

Mary bursts onto the room.  She carries a small clay jar.  

She sees the traveler and stops short.  

He smiles, once again, in recognition.  

She begins to weep.  

She moves to where he sits, 

kneels and opens the jar, 

pouring its contents on his feet.  

She begins wiping his feet with her hair and kissing them.

Ichabod pulls on Simon's arm and whispers roughly in his ear.

Ichabod -You see!  You know who that is.  We ran her out of town three years ago.  We have the right to take her out and stone her now.

Simon -Yes, I know.  If this man were a prophet, he would know who is touching him and what kind of woman she is --that she is a sinner.

The Traveler appears not to have heard this interchange and examines a fig.

Traveler -Simon, I have something to tell you.

Simon -Tell me, teacher.

Traveler -Two men owed money to a certain moneylender. One owed him five hundred denarii, and the other fifty.  Neither of them had the money to pay him back, so he canceled the debts of both. Now which of them will love him more?

Simon - I suppose the one who had the bigger debt canceled.

Traveler -That's a good answer.  Now, consider this woman.  I came into your house. You did not give me water for my feet, but she wet my feet with her tears and wiped them with her hair.  There was very little warmth in your greeting to me but this woman has not stopped kissing my feet.  You did not put oil on my head, but she has poured perfume on my feet.  

Simon, you need to know that her sins -- even though they are too numerous to count -- have been forgiven which is demonstrated her great love for me.  But he who has been forgiven little loves little. 

The Traveler turns to Mary.

Traveler - Your sins are forgiven.

This does not sit well with the other guests.  After all, forgiveness, like cleanliness, is divine ... not human.  The other guests start to murmur and recite her past sins.  But Mary cannot hear them.  She cannot see them.  She can only see the Traveler. 

Traveler - Your faith has saved you; go in peace.  Go home, Mary!