The origin of Christmas

Every year we get the story of how Christians ripped off Saturnalia from Roman pagans to establish December 25 as Jesus' birthday.  Here's what really happened:

Saturnalia in Rome was a full week of carousing and violence between December 17-25.  The courts were closed, and no one could be punished for damaging property or injuring people during this time.  Each Roman community picked a Lord of Misrule who was forced to indulge in food and other physical pleasures throughout the week.  On the last day, December 25^th, this person was murdered as a means of destroying the forces of darkness. Greek writer poet and historian Lucian described the festival as a time of human sacrifice widespread intoxication; going from house to house while singing naked (caroling); rape and other sexual license (office parties); and eating human-shaped cookies (gingerbread men).

By the 4th century Christian leaders had succeeded in converting to Christianity large numbers of pagans by promising them that they could continue to celebrate the Saturnalia as Christians and to appropriate Jesus as the human sacrifice at the end by recognizing his birth on December 25.  That eliminated human sacrifice from the holiday but allowed the carousing to continue.

Because of the pagan origin of the holiday, Christmas was banned by the Puritans and its observance was illegal in Massachusetts between 1659 and 1681.

So, the Christians transformation of the holiday saved lives.  And if you don't like that fact, you're an uptight Puritan.  So there.